Coloring for Kids

I came up with this today and I'd like to develop coloring books for children that will teach them principles of fluid flow. They will involve chapters on pressure, velocity, streamlines, etc., where CFD results will be simplified into coloring book formats and young kids will be able to understand these intimidating ideas. I hope to finish the book by this summer. I have discussed this at length and I certainly hope to have kids interested in this project.

3/19/09
Benny the Brute

The Cure - Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me

Review (8/11/07)
Release Year: 1990

Painting pictures can be difficult. Not the type that involve your two-dimensional home and the questionable heights of your family members, but the type that involve deeply forested hills blanketed with snow undulating behind the charcoal grey rooftop enclosing a cozy evening had by a couple, hardly different than the ones they experienced for the past twenty years. Capturing the essence of the moment with thousands of brushstrokes is a daunting task, but an experienced artist will provide the viewer with an immense understanding of the work given an appropriate blend of color, altogether spastic and serene. The Cure’s Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me is to music as rich landscapes are to art, delivering a rush of emotion with vibrant notes instead of colors. Kiss Me is a loaded gun with styles of dance overlaying distortion, aimed at developing frustrating undertones to generally upbeat numbers.

Many of the tracks have extensive introductions that provide the atmospheric equivalent of a lush landscape (you may have heard the introduction to “One More Time,” cued during any movie when two long-lost friends run at each other in slow motion). They’re gripping set-ups with intricate shifts driven without the aid of Robert Smith’s haunting vocals. It’s difficult to rule out that he was born in a cemetery because his voice carries a uniqueness that seems to be supported by the dead. Slow and gloomy, Smith’s presence floats into a song like a worker checking in for the graveyard shift. Yet on other tracks like “Why Can’t I Be You?” or “Hot Hot Hot!!!,” Smith warps from his distressed persona into a grooving flamboyance. Though his transitions are convincing and provide for solid dance music, the album as a whole is noticeably awkward because of this contrast.

The first six tracks on Kiss Me are remarkable. Several others after “The Snakepit” are also worth mentioning in a casual post-punk discussion. They make for excellent singles but they are incredibly disjointed, giving the album an identity crisis. Some songs (“How Beautiful You Are,” “Torture”) are so entertaining, however, that they completely overwhelm any lack of cohesiveness.

Among the endlessly entertaining songs, variety is appreciated. “Shiver and Shake” is The Cure’s attempt at punk rock. They rival Ravi Shankar’s sitar with a similar South Asian tuning on “If Only Tonight We Could Sleep.” With “Just Like Heaven,” it appeared The Cure opened a new door in pop’s (the genre, not your nostalgic father) vault for greatest songs ever recorded. With over an hour of material, it seems like the fun never stops…but it does. The album trails off near the end and becomes stuffed with filler. It’s hard to imagine a track had to be cut from the original release as Kiss Me is already a behemoth. In the end you get more than what you paid for, but in this case it’s like eating one more spoonful of the chocolate chunk ice cream you really didn’t need.

Very often when I view art I become bored before I can fully appreciate the work and I end up walking away to save my knees some trouble from poor posture while standing still. Perhaps if Kiss Me were less overwhelming and emptied itself of superfluous songs, I would have stuck around until my legs were sore.

Descendents - Fat EP

(Review) 7/27/07
Release Year: 1981

Everyone has the song that sparked their eternal interest in music, differentiating themselves from casual radio listeners, and submerging them into unexplored sonic territory. Mine was the Descendents’ “Weinerschnitzel,” an eleven-second musical trip to the drive-thru window that made as little sense to me seven years ago as it does now. While 3,000 miles away from home at a summer camp, a friend in the dorm came down the hall with two tiny computer speakers in hand, connected to his CD player and cranked to a maximum. I remember being told “Listen to this” as the lanky Quincy, who very much resembled Milo on the cover of several Descendents albums, played the track. When asked “Welcome to Der Weinerschnitzel may I take your order please?” the Descendents turn a simple ride to a fast-food joint into a ridiculous punk explosion. They respond with spurts of music, stamping each request of “Two large Cokes, Two large fries / Chili-cheese dog, large Doctor Pepper / Super deluxe, with cheese and tomato.” They’re then asked “Do you want Bill sperm with that?” They reply with a definitive “NO!” and the song is over.

Bill Stevenson is the Descendents’ drummer, and it’s likely an inside joke, perhaps involving mayonnaise. The reason I was so afflicted by this song is that it was completely different; I was used to oldies, Radio Disney, and ZZ Top, but I could not understand why someone would make a song that short and stupid. However, I was dying to hear the song again because I was confounded, and the fact that it was different than anything Art Laboe introduced to me also drove that urge. I would eventually wait until the end of summer until I finally picked up the Descendents’ Milo Goes to College, and the rest is history.

The Descendents’ Fat EP doesn’t really stretch to its length of five minutes, but what it lacks in length…really doesn’t matter. The EP contains the earliest of the Descendents’ work, as immature as ever, with a heavy bite at the end of its hooks. The honest and simple “I Like Food” stresses speed and hunger with a 17-second harangue. Although it may be too concise for its own good, its over the top delivery is fresh and delicious. The bottom line is that the songs are absolutely silly, borderline unnecessary, but indisputably original.

When the midget EP isn’t referring to food, “My Dad Sucks” and “Global Probing” handle adolescence and display the potential of the Descendents’ optimism that would work in full force on future songs like “Hope” or “Pep Talk.” The album’s greatest drawback is that it sounds unbalanced. The guitars are overtly loud, emphasizing the poor production of the album. They also strain and hide bass sections that would greatly improve the music. The noise doesn’t provide an edge as much as it provides irritation, which detracts from the EP’s value.

Despite being very simplistic and immature, the Descendents’ appeal is found in their raw and energetic approach. With a ridiculous flair, they increase their replay value and let the listener discover they have taste buds in their ears! Junk science aside, this album isn’t quite food for thought, but it may be filling if you’re used to small serving sizes.

Adolescents - Adolescents

(Review) 7/26/07
Release Year: 1981

With over 100,000 millionaires living within its boundaries, Orange County, California is one of the wealthiest counties in the United States. Better known as the O.C., it’s also a cesspool filled with ignorance, narcissism, and spoiled teenagers that is considered praiseworthy by MTV and fashion magazines. It should not come as a surprise then that hardcore punk emerged from this filth to counter every stroke of eyeliner.

The Adolescents formed in 1980 and released their debut Adolescents in 1981, before disbanding later that year. The lineup that came to fruition to produce their debut united the talents of bassist Steve Soto, guitarists Rikk and Frank Agnew, drummer Casey Royer, and lead vocalist Tony Cadena. Rikk and Royer were from Social Distortion, while Soto was formerly a member of Agent Orange, giving the Adolescents a mature collection of established O.C. musicians.

Starting a punk band takes some effort, but sounding better than lawnmowers and wind chimes is another story. To really make waves, the punk band has to be talented, unique, and controversial. Not only do the Adolescents meet each criterion on their self-titled album, they exceed them. Adolescents satisfies hardcore punk traditionalists and modern punk enthusiasts alike because Rikk Agnew is a beast on guitar, the album transitions between the tame and uncontrollable flawlessly, and every song is worth talking about. Even the monotonous tracks on the album “Rip it Up” and “Who is Who” manage to deliver an addicting chorus at blistering paces to avoid being qualified as filler. Other seemingly typical rushed hardcore punk songs like “Self-Destruct” and “Word Attack” are phenomenal because they accelerate with concise imagery of youth and turn corners around ferocious beats. The album’s weakest link is that as a re-release, its inclusion of the final three songs from the Welcome to Reality EP lack the same spunk heard on the original thirteen.

Perhaps the greatest sequence of punk rock songs in history occur on the album with “Kids of the Black Hole,” “No Way,” and “Amoeba.” “Kids of the Black Hole” epitomizes the scene at the time in a sensational fashion, while its lyrics rival the phenomenal music. Tony Cadena sneers with a potent youthful sincerity in a moment recollecting,

The nights of birthdays
The nights of fry
The nights of endless drinking
The knights of violence
The knights of noise
The nights that had to end for good, still not understood, by the girls and boys.

Cadena and crew knew the phenomenon and were well aware of its half-life. To surround these words of wisdom, a skipping drum beat and popping guitar riff create a ticking time bomb. Rikk Agnew then arrives to penetrate the walls of noise with a short solo that provides for the songs’ climax. “No Way” begins with a perpetual pounding, before a seamless gear shift into a few creative licks by Agnew. A backup harmony provided by Steve, Rikk, and Frank, only emphasizes Cadena’s screams of “No Way!” Immediately after, “Amoeba” starts into a hypnotic chant of its title, a prelude to a song addressing the irony of the scientists’ work. Such a simple creature with so little awareness of its surrounding environment is prominent on the slides of microscopes and in the bedrooms of O.C. homes. Its undeniable catchy rhythm and “Amoeba” chant possesses enough strength to hook listeners, but a lasting solo by Agnew between chants completes the song.

Adolescents is hardcore punk that will never be heard by the stubborn, simple-minded guys and gals basking in the sun on Laguna beaches. It combats ignorance, narcissism, and materialism with intensity, symbolic of hardcore punk’s glory days and a landmark in punk rock. It belonged to the kids of the black hole, and it’s still a weapon against our oblivious society today.

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Ruin Jonny's Bar Mitzvah

(Review) 7/24/07
Release Year: 2004

Donning matching attire, the punk rock cover outfit Me First and the Gimme Gimmes butchers or exalts your favorite classic hits, based on your perspective. During Ruin Jonny’s Bar Mitzvah, the Gimmes invade Jewish territory and provide a punk rock twist to the celebration, marking the transition of a young boy into adulthood, as well as the Gimmes’ transition from a studio to live album. This collection of punk veterans features members of Lagwagon, NOFX, Swingin’ Utters, and formerly No Use for a Name; guitarist Joey Cape, drummer Dave Raun, bassist Fat Mike, lead vocalist Spike Slawson, and guitarist Chris Shiflett round out the talent of Me First and relay good humor between each other throughout their performance. On Ruin Jonny’s Bar Mitzvah, these superheroes of punk rock favor fun over finesse, clowning over class, but a sloppy record full of genuine happiness only makes the Gimmes that much more enjoyable.

Solid musicianship is abundant in the Gimmes’ lineup but on more than one occasion do the Gimmes depart from a refined sound. Though this is the charm of many live records, cover bands should be held to a slightly higher standard. Notes are missed frequently, songs are restarted, and songs end prematurely. Songs like “Stairway to Heaven” are maladjusted, removing from the essence of the originals but allowing the Gimmes to do nothing more than entertain.

So who are they covering this time around? Is there a theme to the album as on other Gimmes albums, such as Love Their Country, Are a Drag, or Blow in the Wind? Not really, but there is not an unfamiliar song on the album as the Gimmes chose hits across genres to ensure that no one was left out of the loop. With the benefit of accessible tunes, the Gimmes shine brightest on “Come Sail Away,” “The Longest Time,” and “Superstar.” As covers, these songs keep the intrinsic values of their original counterparts and provide an additional musical element that makes each song equally or even more enjoyable than the original. With solid covers, the Gimmes are able to stylishly attract listeners without losing any respect, holding the originals up to their classic standing.

The Gimmes are also known to begin songs with familiar punk rock hits, or to mask songs with the structure of others. On Ruin Jonny’s Bar Mitzvah, a listener will notice that “Hava Nagila” warps for a moment into The Offspring’s “Come Out and Play” and that “The Longest Time” recollects Stiff Little Fingers’ “Suspect Device.” The most noticeable introduction is on “Superstar,” made famous by The Carpenters, with the notorious bassline featured on the Adolescents’ legendary “Kids of the Black Hole.” These touches of punk rock go further than paying tribute to the bands and add a clever uniqueness to the material. Well, the entire album is clever uniqueness.

Ruin Jonny’s Bar Mitzvah adds such a unique element to the album that you feel like you’re at the party, wearing your finest shoes, and ordering your fifth drink from the bar. Or was it sixth? The point is that there is a very intimate environment created by that same sloppy approach mentioned earlier. Each track is either casually enjoyable or awful to the point of pure amusement. At one point in the record, Jonny comes out and plays drums for the Gimmes’ rendition of Sloop John B, making for a fitting end to this album filled with sentimental and playful moments. And if you purchase the album itself, you can enjoy the party visually thanks to the bonus material and share a few more drinks at the bar after hours.

ALL - Allroy for Prez (EP)

(Review) 7/22/07
Release Year: 1988

Bill Stevenson, Stephen Edgerton, and Karl Alvarez are the trio of musicians that have represented the Descendents and ALL for about the last 20 years. Together they propel each pop-punk powerhouse, promoting females, fishing, food, and fun. They also enjoy coffee. They’ve teamed with vocalist Milo Aukerman, the face of the Descendents, since 1987 and have also worked with a few other vocalists since 1988 to create music in the name of ALL. On Allroy for Prez, released shortly after Milo’s second hiatus, the face of the Descendents was changed and mascot Allroy was born; he modified the look of Milo on the Descendents’ Milo Goes to College cover by removing his glasses (revealing spiraled eyes), taking off his tie, and spiking his hair. Though ALL’s image was now slightly different from the Descendents, they would never succeed to differentiate their sound. There have been very few complaints.

Allroy for Prez is an EP exclusively filled with love songs. It’s a damn fine one as well, featuring a novel chemistry between Stevenson, Edgerton, and Alvarez. ALL’s vocalist on the album is Dave Smalley; he’s the versatile frontman of punk bands DYS, Dag Nasty, and Down by Law, emerging in the album as a student of love. His voice strains and lacks confidence, almost unrecognizable when compared to his later work where he sounds like he has taken a few shots of whiskey before approaching the microphone. This innocence only helps the album as this student of love rebukes his former affairs. As for Smalley’s back-up, they get their own time in the spotlight with an instrumental (a trend on some ALL/Descendents albums) that sets up the end of the album. They jam as expected with Stevenson and Alvarez breaking down Edgerton’s heavy riffs, sounding much like the theme song to a zombie invasion of a skate park.

Perhaps with a different song arrangement (the instrumental Son-O-Qua would fit much better at the end of the album) Prez would be just perfect. Speaking of “Just Perfect,” the album opener is the only confidently optimistic song on the album, making Allroy for Prez a very bitter and hopeful release. The bitterness permeates Alvarez’s bass as it playfully bounces over Stevenson’s beats, with a serious grudge from Smalley who resentfully opens “Postage” with the lyric “I want to forget the day we met, and the way I felt inside.” Even with the closer “Daveage,” Smalley painfully remarks “Well count me out of your plans / and you know that hurts me, man…Well I just can't believe / the things you said to me today.” His indignant adolescent tone is condemning and shadows his heartbreak. Through all of the negative vibes conveyed on the album, the best song on the EP may be “Wishing Well,” where Smalley wonders how he’d change the world given wishes that came true. The chorus is driven by Stevenson’s drumrolls and Smalley’s innocuous shouts, giving a refreshing moment on the album that gives Allroy for Prez its luster.

At only 20 minutes, the album is easily digested if needed before taking a final run to the ex’s house to collect your things, or before gripping the insides of your pockets on your way to asking someone out for coffee. ALL is notorious for creating catchy pop-punk, and Allroy for Prez exemplifies their natural ability to entertain the hopeless romantics in us all, however bitter they may be.

No Use for a Name - Making Friends

(Review) 7/20/07
Release Year: 1997

Jake Jackson is the clean cut guitar talent in the legendary Foo Fighters and the punk cover band Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. His real name is Chris Shiflett, which has caused some confusion amongst listeners attempting to connect the dots in terms of No Use for a Name’s history. Shiflett used to play with No Use for a Name (NUFAN) and was on Making Friends, NUFAN’s fifth full-length album. Shiflett decided to join the Foo Fighters in 1999 soon after finishing NUFAN’s More Betterness!, only after contributing to two albums in NUFAN’s catalog. Though his time with NUFAN was short, he did much to evolve their sound and helped create their best material. They emerged from an early career filled with grainy guitars, rushed songs, and poor transitions, and could have easily been mistaken for a confused metal band or D.R.I. When Shiflett arrived, they matured quickly, and it’s noticeable on Making Friends.

The guitars on Making Friends are incredible because they’re dynamic, whether they replace silence with a short interlude as heard on “Secret,” or function by setting an entire tone for a song like “Growing Down” or “Sidewalk.” Though what truly makes them special is that they’re also the most interesting part of any NUFAN song. The drums are nauseatingly repetitive though drummer Rory Koff lacks no talent whatsoever. His beats are either slow or fast, they sound great, but they follow a similar pattern and do not cure a thirst for variety. I didn’t know NUFAN had a bassist until I read the album jacket. Bassist Matt Riddle’s role in the band is hardly noticeable other than his occasional vocal chime-in or when he plays behind a much higher pitch. Vocalist Tony Sly is a contender for “The Best Thing About No Use for a Name” and he’s a great one at that. He plays guitar, putting him at a disadvantage for this award. He’s one hell of a singer and is the distinguishable element of NUFAN, but his role on the album is secondary to what really helped this album succeed.

Making Friends works because it has many elements of pop-punk that are tried and true, but more so because their older self bleeds through many of their songs and adds an edge to what would otherwise be mediocre. It’s not a remarkably consistent album though many of the song themes flow into the next. The lack of consistency can be attributed to an exploration of style and overall rhythm, which is guitar driven, and results in an experimental side that takes from consistency what it gives to noticeable accessibility and catchiness.

Emotional pop-punk songs are a dime a dozen, but the memorable ones are those you keep going back to because they provide relevant messages to help you move forward in your life. Making Friends is full of memorable songs, like “The Answer is Still No,” “Invincible,” and “On the Outside.” Their lyrics contain resent and disappointment, but they do more than complain by addressing their problems in a larger scope which does even more for the listener. “The Answer is Still No” asks “Does anybody care?” at its conclusion, and repeats the question in a resigned manner. “On the Outside” moves on with Sly wondering but not regretting about what could have been, singing “I'm not gonna track you down and it's / too late to stop / thinking 'bout the time that we have lost / (I'm happy without you).” These songs have certainly connected with me above being very entertaining. The rest of the album does not trail far behind and increases a listener’s resilience to boredom based on pop-punk familiarity.

To date, NUFAN has achieved enough success and credibility to release a solid collection of greatest hits. Thanks to Shiflett, they became more than another pop-punk band, or another NOFX clone, or even a Pennywise. But when he left, they couldn’t elevate their game and make significant progress. That’s fine though, because his contributions put NUFAN over the top in terms of the ability to produce very listenable tunes with noticeable traces of their past self lending them a distinct and respectable sound.